Why do I still feel like this, now it's over?

Shouldn't I feel better now that it's over?

Leaving or ending the relationship is the end of the danger, but it's rarely the end of the impact. It's common to still feel hypervigilant, anxious, numb, or confused about what was real, sometimes for a long time afterward. Recovery is a separate process from leaving, and it's normal for it to take longer than people expect, including you.

Why do I doubt my own memory of what happened?

If the relationship involved manipulation, gaslighting, or being told your perception was wrong or "too sensitive", it's extremely common to come away doubting your own judgement and memory, even about things you're sure happened. That self-doubt is a direct effect of the abuse, not evidence that you're overreacting or misremembering.

Is it normal to still care about them, or to miss parts of it?

Yes. Abusive relationships are rarely abusive every moment, there were often good periods, and the bond formed during those times doesn't disappear just because the relationship was harmful overall. Missing someone, or parts of a life you had with them, doesn't cancel out what happened, and it doesn't mean you should go back.

Do I have to talk about the details if I'm not ready?

No. You set the pace entirely. Recovery work can focus on rebuilding safety, trust in your own judgement, and a sense of self, without requiring you to relive specific incidents before you're ready to, if ever.

Is this different from general trauma therapy?

There's overlap, but recovery from domestic abuse often has its own specific themes: rebuilding trust in your own perception, navigating co-parenting or shared connections if that applies, processing coercive control specifically, and re-establishing a sense of autonomy that was deliberately eroded. It's worth working with someone who understands that particular dynamic, not just trauma in general.